hmmm. my evening post was really an emo one.
i was pretty upset.
because i felt very lonely at that point of time.
as i asked geokchoo and eileen to leave without me first.
the moment was for me to cool down.
so that i'm prepared for worked.


earlier on this afternoon,
i didnt went for talk with eileen and geokchoo.
the reason is because i do not want to leave my team mates doing all the work.
even though i didnt do anything at all except for ppt.
but i felt i should be there for moral support. =X
ended up i went for lunch with my classmates.


is my fault that i didnt inform them that i will be having lunch with my classmates.
i just left without saying anything to them.
eileen called my mobile but i didnt answer.
it was not on purpose because i didnt have any vibration or anything.
my phone was on silent.
and yah, she called my mobile and i was eating already.
i saw both of them walking towards my direction and eileen was still calling.
i didnt think of picking up the call where i should.
cux my mind was like OHSHIT! i forgot abt them.


basically is my fault la.
and i dunno whether did i make them pissed off.
but i msn them to apologise.
as i felt that is necessary.
but....
in my opinion, i felt they were still angry abt it.
hence, i ended the conversation because i dunno what else i can do.


when my lesson ended, i didnt dare to msn them.
i just sit aside and wait for them to msn me.
when i saw geokchoo offline.. i was like ohhnoo.
then i msn eileen and asked her whether her class ended.
but she didnt reply.
after a while, she offline.
and my mind just went totally blank.
till i saw my phone ringing.
it was geokchoo saying they were downstairs already.


i so wanted to meet them.
but i choose not to.
i shut myself in the class and do nothing.
reflecting on what had happen.
and.. nothing came in.
sighhh*


i'm a failure in handling friendship.
what i yearn for is friendship.
what i'm scared of is losing friendship.
the moment i really treat you as my friend,
it actually means i treat you as my brother, sister already.
therefore i'm afraid of losing.
reason is because i dont have much good friend.
and i regard them as one.


nvmmm.
what is over is over.
tmr will be a better day.
but i seriously hope that they will forgive me la.
and i think that my previous post seems attracting attention la!
goddd! dunno why i will post such a post out.
hahahaa


you know the reason.
and i hope you will understand.
sorryy (: